Monday, October 5, 2009
i gave up. i dropped the basic photography class. i don't like to give up and so i was not giving myself permission to leave it because i told myself to hold on, it will get better. but everything that could go wrong keeps going wrong every single time. i fixed problems, and immediately new ones came up. when i noticed that i barely sleep, frequently walk around stressed and misty-eyed, convinced that the gods of photography are telling me "go away, stick to what you know," and most importantly that my thesis - which should be the center of my universe right now - is being neglected, i decided to put my foot down. i still have access to the photography department's equipment for the rest of the semester and will take and develop photographs that are funny and imperfect - just the way i like them - on my own time.